Mario's "Mexican Restaurant"

Tonight Yoda and I went out to dinner for the second time at Mario's "Mexican Restaurant" (quotes not added). For those of you who have not been, it is a small restaurant/bar in Oshkosh with a large margarita selection and a toxic buffet (I made the mistake of trying it the first time we went). But Yoda liked the Tutti Frutti Margarita (tasted like sweet tarts), and I was willing to give it a second try, so there we were. In total we ordered:

one Original Margarita on the rocks (for me)
one Nachos el Grande (to share)
one “Wet” Chicken Burrito Dinner (for me)
one Chicken Chimichanga (for Yoda)
one Flan (to share)

Our total was about $31 (not including the tip). In summary: our food was ok, but not awesome, and not authentic. It was as if the attitude of the restaurant was, “well, if your dining experience or food is good, that's great, but we're not going to go out of our way to make it happen.” Yoda's analysis: “we don't care, and it shows.” So let's start at the beginning.

The Margarita

When first perusing the menu, I was struck by several unusual drink choices. My curiosity aroused, I asked the waitress what the El Presidente, Ultimate, Hot Tamale, and Caribbean margaritas were. Her reply was, “I don't know.” After a short, pregnant pause in which it became apparent that she wasn't going to offer to find out, I ordered an original (I like my margaritas strong, not syrupy, over ice, and with salt). Upon tasting it, I realized that it was way too sweet, but otherwise ok. I am of the opinion that if you want a fruity, sugary drink, order a fruit flavored margarita, but if you order an “original” you should be able to taste the tequila and the sweetness should enhance that flavor, not drown it out. But, it did come with salt (which was a relief to my tastebuds). Overall: 5/10

The Nachos el Grande

A generous plate of fresh corn chips covered with piles of ground beef, jalapeños, tomatoes, cheese sauce, and with a side of sour cream. Pretty good, but the jalapeños weren't that spicy. 5.5/10

The “Wet” Chicken Burrito

A largish burrito filled with shredded chicken, cheese, and refried beans, covered in salsa, accompanied by refried beans, rice, lettuce, tomato, and sour cream. Hearty, but not terribly remarkable. I'm a sucker for good beans, and these weren't that flavorful (and they were too thick). Also, the rice was bland and greasy. But the burrito itself was good. 5.5/10

The Chicken Chimichanga

A largish chimichanga filled with beans, chicken, cheese, onions, and lettuce. Not very flavorful, but not that bad. About $3 too expensive. 6/10

The Flan (aka Hobo Pudding)

An uneven, broken, ugly pile of curdled eggs flavored with cinnamon, covered with whipped cream. I have never had flan that was the consistency of this stuff—it was really firm, and the eggs had distinctively curdled (giving it an almost bread-pudding-like texture). The flavor was fine, but the whole point of flan is that it is silky smooth and delicate on your tongue. We ate it, but I decided that if I had a restaurant I wouldn't serve this as flan—it's just way too far off. Yoda suggested the name of Hobo Pudding, which seemed appropriate, and I added that it should be set on fire at the table for proper effect. Because if your dessert is flaming, it doesn't really matter what it is—you'll still feel excited to be eating it. As Flan: 2/10 As Hobo Pudding: 8/10

To summarize: if only the waitress had offered to find out what the El Presidente Margarita was. If only the jalapeños were more spicy. If only the flan was Hobo Pudding instead. I'll end it with this:

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the tree was as soft as the sky is."
While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,
He cries to the moo-oo-oon,
"If only, if only."

Overall Rating: 5.5/10

Next time: REAL Mexican food.